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Published by Muriel Haber, Secrets For Successful Change: Your Silent Partner, is devoted to learning to live effectively and productively in today's fast paced, ever changing, double boiler, pressure cooker world. Its purpose is to help you through the changes you must face. "The way things are is not the way thing have to be." -- Muriel Haber
1. Welcome
I bet you thought we lucked out because this was a leap year. February had a Friday the 13th which would normally mean that March would also have a Friday the 13th. But along came February 29th and although it wiped out Friday the 13th from March, it couldn't do anything about the ides of March, otherwise known as March 15th, so beware! As superstitions go, being wary of March 15th is somewhat unusual. Yet there are reasons why this day does have its staying power. It lives on partly because of Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar." In Act 1, the soothsayer cautions Caesar to "Beware the ides of March!" Caesar, of course, ignored the warning and was murdered. The ides of March continues to be remembered as unlucky, so marked because of Julius Caesar's assassination in 44 B.C. Now, Caesar was murdered on March 15th of the Julian calendar. But there is another reason why this date was frowned upon by all. On March 15th, on the Roman calendar, all debts from the previous year were supposed to be settled. Now, regarding our calendar, doesn't April 15th strike a chord? Each month, you will receive another issue. The initial purpose of this ezine is to help implement some of the ideas and goals expressed on my website. It will usually consist of a message from me, an article by me and sometimes an article by another author. I will be offering ways to help you deal more easily with life's unexpected, unwanted and often unacceptable changes. I hope that by reading my publication you will find support and perhaps a feeling of camaraderie. Any methods I've used when I've had to deal with seemingly intolerable situations will be available for your consideration. What will work for you may be very different from what worked for me or for anyone else. But I'll share with you what I have learned. One of my goals will be to guide you beyond the obvious. If you like, I will be the 'Silent Partner' that many of you are lacking. I invite you to e-mail me at mailto:Muriel@HaberResources.com
with any suggestions, questions, and topics you would like me to
cover. I am also interested in any comments you have about this
publication.
At the request of several subscribers, I had decided to write about ways to pull oneself out of the doldrums. They had asked for a few suggestions for steps to take when they were down and feeling stuck there. I started to write a list of techniques I’ve used or some of my clients have told me worked best for them. I thought about the feelings involved in being really low and what was needed to turn that state of mind around so that one could more easily make the shift from down to up, or from in to out. I realized that rather than attempt to cover a huge gamut of suggestions, I would try to impart to all of you what I discovered was the main propellant for me to get up, be up and stay up. In the future, I can send any of you a list of ways out of the doldrums.That won’t be too difficult. Or, we can work on a list together. But what I want to give you today is an insight into our inner selves, the place beneath the down and dirty, under the sullenness where the blues begin, the root of gloom and despondency, the core of much of our moody malaise. If I can show you how to deal with that miserable place, you will probably find that you are winding up there less and less. When you do find yourself in one of those fits of dissatisfaction and moroseness, you’ll probably choose to get yourself out of it a lot faster. Something we all know and often forget is that much of our life is spent trying to figure out what our purpose is. For those of you who say it is to be happy, I agree. But how we can find that happiness that fills us to the core is the real question. We can spend time with a really good friend and that can make us happy. Or perhaps we paint something that actually looks exactly as we had envisioned it in our mind; or we work hard and study for long hours and finally earn a degree that we have been wanting for years.All of these are great things, really wonderful and uplifting accomplishments. I’m sure that you can all think of something that is the equivalent. Something you have succeeded in or accomplished that satisfies your goals and fills you with pride. After such a success, can you remember feeling that as great as that was, there seems to be something elusive that you still have not achieved? Some vague sense that there is another ingredient that is out there somewhere and all you have to do is find it? Many people identify with this feeling that there has been something left undone and spend a good part of their lives striving over and over for more success, more or better achievements, paintings, literature, degrees or job promotions. The answer is neither hidden nor withheld from anyone. In fact, it is so obvious that usually it is merely overlooked. I believe that the main purpose that most beings strive to fulfill is the knowledge that they have made a difference in another person’s life. Of course, this is something that can happen even without our being totally aware of it. A teacher who recognizes the ability of a very shy student and gives that student a chance to shine may not even know what has happened. Or the writer who touches the soul of a reader who then goes on to live a totally different and more fulfilling life may never meet that reader. But let’s go back to our own needs and moods and urges to pull up and out and accomplish something. Can you think back to a time when you intentionally did something that affected another human being and added to the quality of their life? If you can,then you should be able to identify with what I refer to, for myself,as the high of giving - the thrill of playing a part in the creation of a turn in the road for another. I have stood outside myself and seen myself rejoice in the knowledge that an intellectually challenged child was able to finally succeed in an activity that his brothers and sisters had done easily all of their lives. And I have wanted to jump up, tears in my eyes, and clap my hands when a client has made a long sought after breakthrough that I know will affect his life in a new and positive way. These are the times that we should all put on our lists so that they are available for us whenever we wonder what we would have, could have or should have done with our lives. And if there is anyone who cannot think of even one contribution made to another human being, there is always someone waiting for your unique help. Some of us were taught by our parents to take care of ourselves. And others of us were taught to take care of our parents.But I believe that each of us has a basic instinct to take care of ourselves and part of that includes feeding the inner being that needs to know that they have had a purpose greater than themselves. That purpose is achieved by contributing to another and making a difference in their life. It is through that contribution that each one of us can and does change the world. That doesn’t mean we all have to join the Peace Corps, although that would certainly be a good choice. But it does mean that we can all heighten our awareness and see who is around us, or maybe not that near. I am sure there will be someone, or some few,that can benefit from your giving what is uniquely yours. And oh, what a difference that will be!
Although I won't always have this category, it's here because this is where you will find announcements of teleclasses. Some free, others not. There will also be announcements of other things such as a new Free Item on my website, a great new or newly discovered book or article by another author. Here is where I just might list a new thought that I'd love you to know about - to ponder, consider, relate to. In January's newsletter I told you about the new topic called 'Stress-Free Living' on my web site, http://www.HaberResources.com. Here is where I will be writing about what stress does to us, why it happens, and tips on how to reduce or, better yet, eliminate it. Stress is so often the cause of our problems as well as the result of them that it really can't be ignored.
In my last email I told you about the Free Meditation Tape. There has been a slight delay but for those of you who wrote requesting a tape, you are still going to receive it. Quite soon. For those of you who are new to this site or forgot to write to me requesting the introductory tape, it isn't too late. All NEW SUBSCRIBERS to this newsletter will automatically receive a copy of the tape. Yes - a simple one step process. Subscribe to SECRETS FOR SUCCESSFUL CHANGE: YOUR SILENT PARTNER and the tape will be sent to you. This applies for those of you who subscribe in March and April. Subscribers - please send me an email at mailto:Muriel@Haberresources.com and I will send the tape to you. And to all of you newcomers - YES, IT IS FREE - all you have to
do is subscribe to the Newsletter. The easiest way is to go to the
website http://www.HaberResources.com
and click on the left side of the home page where you'll see the
button. Or you can send a blank email to
This month I am going to write about another stress reliever which is almost as high up on the effectiveness scale as meditating. It has been proven that pet ownership can be beneficial in combatting social stress. This is the finding of a new study into the effects of the human companion animal bond. The study by Dr. Karen Allen Ph.D.D, from the School of Medicine at Buffalo University, New York, looked at the social support and blood pressure of young and elderly women and the role of pet dogs and cats. Previous research in this area has shown aging is generally associated with increases in blood pressure and social support may offer some benefits. Dr Allen's study explored the importance of the type of social support, that is human versus pet, among 50 women in their 20s and 50 women in their 70s who lived alone, by measuring their blood pressure over a six month period. Half of the women in each age group had either a cat or a dog. Findings indicated the blood pressure of elderly women with low social support and no pets was much higher than those with pets. In fact, the blood pressure of the specially isolated elderly women with pets was quite similar to those of young women. Chairman of the Society for Companion Animal Studies (SCAS), Mary Whyam, said: ''For a lot of people, having a pet means that they feel less lonely and therefore less socially isolated. This is particularly true for elderly people living on their own who are less mobile. To them a pet is a great companion, giving them unconditional love and friendship that they would otherwise miss through reduced social contact.'' SCAS is a registered charity dedicated to increasing our knowledge and understanding of the relationship between humans and companion animals, and to improving the quality of life of people and pets by encouraging responsible attitudes. Not only do pets enhance our well being, but they can also protect us from the stress-relate illnesses. A further study by Dr. Allen showed the positive effects pets can have on their owners' blood pressure and heart rate. In this study she measured the heart rate, blood pressure and perspiration response (that is the body's stress indicators) among 45 adult women while they performed a standard stress task in the presence of a female friend or pet dog.
The results revealed participants demonstrated higher signs of stress and poorer task performance in the presence of the female friend than those with the pet or those who were alone. This could be due to the non-judgemental nature of pets - once again, proving that pets really are good for our health and help us to beat stress! Now, my one word of advice to you is, if your stress relief pet is going to be a parrot, make sure he doesn't have an arguementative personality. Still feeling stressed? Check out my new Stress-Free Living section at my website at http://www.haberresources.com. and send for my free Meditation Tape for Beginners at mailto:Muriel@Haberresources.com.
March is National Women's History Month Women Civilized The World Though modern women don't stress the role of women in early history, their contributions to family and civilization can hardly be ignored. And many did rise to prominence. Remember Queen Cleopatra of Egypt? Later great leaders such as Queen Elizabeth of England helped to ease the world into more modern times. Historians say there is little doubt that the influence and demands of women changed the American West from a lawless land to a place where people could live and thrive. It was accomplished by many brave souls. What have women done lately? Here are a few milestones from recent decades: 1953: Jacqueline Cochran breaks the sound barrier flying an F-86 and set another speed record in 1961. 1957: Althea Gibson was the first African American tennis player to win at Wimbledon. 1964: Margaret Chase Smith of Maine was the first woman nominated for president of the U.S. by a major political party. 1972: Juanita Kreps was the first woman director of the New York Stock Exchange. 1981: Sandra Day O'Connor is the first woman justice of the Supreme Court. 1983: Dr. Sally K. Ride became the first American woman to be sent into space. 1985: Wilma Mankiller is the first female chief of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma. 1990: Dr. Antonia Novello was the first woman (and first Hispanic) to become the U.S. Surgeon General. 1993: Janet Reno is sworn in as the first woman to become a U.S. attorney general. 1997: Madeleine Albright became the first woman to serve as U.S. secretary of state. 1999: Lt. Col. Eileen Collins is the first woman to command a space shuttle mission. 2001: Condoleezza Rice became the first woman to serve as the U.S. national security adviser. I know more than just a few of you who are going to enjoy this next bit of information... Researchers find benefits in drinking coffee Who would have thought? Drinking coffee is being hailed as a way to prevent heart disease, diabetes, Parkinson's disease, and colon cancer. Some recent research: * The Honolulu Heart Program followed 8,000 men for 40 years. Those who had up to six cups of coffee a day were five times less likely to develop Parkinson's. Caffeine appears to protect brain cells from the disease. * Harvard researchers found that people who drank four to five cups daily reduced their risk of type 2 diabetes by 30 percent. * Researchers at Germany's University of Munster say a compound in coffee appears to protect against colon cancer. * Johns Hopkins University tracked medical students for 30 years and found that coffee drinkers had slightly higher blood pressure but didn't have hypertension. Many studies show that the caffeine in coffee can increase alertness and improve mental function. Drinking three cups a day is safe. If drinking more doesn't bother you, you could get more benefits.
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